Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
