there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
