I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
