My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
