I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
