exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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