Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
