I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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