Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
