that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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