Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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