i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
