Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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