im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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