Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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