eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
