he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
