3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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