from now on my penis is your penis
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
