dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
