go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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