Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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