does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
