My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
