did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
