I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
