As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
