I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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