I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
