I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
