there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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