I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We left the knife in your bed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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