I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
