i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
