It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
