i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
