Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
