we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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