A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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