it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
