I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize