Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
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I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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