there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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