so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
