I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
