Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
