is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
