There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize