hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
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Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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