I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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