nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
This house was built for laser tag.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
