Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
