I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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