last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
