Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
