Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
