Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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